Thursday, June 26, 2008
What a week!! Current mood: loved Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
Ok all here I am again! I have some news to report, but not much so this should be short and sweet!
As you know I work at a bar as a waitress 3 nights a week...Well Saturday night my nightmare came true a 3rd time LOL! I fell ( luckily I had no food) and this time I fell HARD! I mean the floor shook under I swear. I was moving so fast I actually continued to slide after I fell and ended up under the pool table! Now there were about 20 ppl in the dining room OMG talk about embarassing :) Oh well so the result of my fall....a hairline fracture on my ankle and torn ligaments from my calf to my ankle on my left foot!! Jesus I do know how to make it count don't I :) I will be fine I promise! I am on crutches supposedly for 3 weeks, but the boss says I have to go back to work july 3rd...so you know I will. Plus honestly I don't work a second job because I love working that much we all know I need the $$ so that enters into my listening to him too! so that is the news here I am sure you will all find it amusing and concerning at the same time!
Now for my state of mind! I am doing really well. I am so happy with things right now. I honestly can't say anything negative about life these days. I am in an amazing relationship YAY! I take everyday as it comes and move on from there! I am not saying I don't get aggrivated or upset about things, but I do my best to take them on one at a time and move forward. I must say that Phil helps me with this a lot! He has an incredible knack for calming me down and getting my mind off things that are irritating me! I am thankful that he can understand me and not become frustrated also. I know now that life can be so much fun...I had lost sight of that a long time ago...sadly it took me until now to find it! I don't have very many days when I don't have fun, feel great, or just enjoy being alive! It is wonderful to wake up everyday and know that someone loves me...and look forward to every chance we get to spend together!
Enough rambling from me...altho most of you are used to that :) May your lives be as happy as mine! I think of you all often and even tho you don't hear from me frequently doesn't mean you aren't in my thoughts and in my heart!!
Love and Hugs
Stacy
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
A much better day! Current mood: inspired Category: Life
Well since yesterday life has become so much better! I guess sometimes we just need a mental meltdown to keep going strong! I feel so amazing and on top of the world today. Altho I didn't get much sleep I still feel good!
I have begun to realize that being treated well makes you feel well :) It is so nice to finally be treated with care and respect. Finding someone who treats you well can truly change your whole outlook on life. This is especially true when the person treating you this way cares very deeply for you. It becomes more obvious everyday that you can find those once in a lifetime relationships!! One where there is no yelling...just talking and discussing....one where there is no hitting....just gentle touches showing care, hugs, and kisses...what a change for me! Someone who genuinely worries about you and cares what happens to you...and does everything they know to help assure you don't get hurt! And if you get hurt...cares enough to assure you it will be ok....someone who disscusses your worries and is there to support you...these things are all so new to me....I have never had anyone that truly wanted to be a part of my life on every level. Sometimes it is like a dream for me...altho he may not realize it...this is a brand new world for me to explore!
It is hard for a person whose never lived in fear to understand what life without fear means! I hope in the near future that I can close the last chapter of my life (the chapter of the last 8 yrs) and openly start the chapter on my future. I enjoy living without fear and regrets and look forward to my future...not making the same mistakes as before.
I look forward to learning new things, enjoying the outdoors, and just being me for the first time in years! I had thought I lost myself and worried I may never find that child like happiness I once had...but fear not I have found it and myself again! I am so excited about my birthday ( hehe most of you know how that goes) even tho it is 6 months away :) And we know that Christmas is after that YAY!!!!
I have also seen a change in my personality. I no longer feel the need to be defensive all the time. I have gotten so used to always having to fight against the current of life that sailing swiftly with the current is quite pleasing! I don't remember the last time I was defensive or arrogant with anyone...it used to be a daily occurance...I DON'T miss it at all!!! I LOVE being pleasant, funny, charming, silly, and fun this is who I truly am in my heart and in my soul! All the other things that came out in me I truly believe were a product of my enviroment! Of course we do have days when we butt heads with people that is natural and everyone experiences it, but letting it happen and moving forward is the key...sometimes I struggle with that and carry emotions away, but not nearly as frequently or vehemently as before....if and when I do I apolgize to those affected.
So there you have it guys another insight into me. I am a complex creature sometimes altho I try very hard not to be. My goal is to be simple and fun! If I fail it isn't for lack of trying. I hope that there can be someone in the world that loves and cares for me....just by me being me...isn't that everyones goal...someone who can love and respect me even with my flaws ( I am strong enough to know I have many) and imperfections!
I cherish the relationship I am in now and work everyday to realize this is how things should be :) I pray we can make it work so that we are both as happy in the future as we are now! I look forward to everytime Phil and I are together :) I also look forward to sharing him with all of you...but just a little bit hehe!
Hope everyone is having a great day! May God Bless you and keep you safe!
Hugs
Stacy
A much better day! Current mood: inspired Category: Life
Well since yesterday life has become so much better! I guess sometimes we just need a mental meltdown to keep going strong! I feel so amazing and on top of the world today. Altho I didn't get much sleep I still feel good!
I have begun to realize that being treated well makes you feel well :) It is so nice to finally be treated with care and respect. Finding someone who treats you well can truly change your whole outlook on life. This is especially true when the person treating you this way cares very deeply for you. It becomes more obvious everyday that you can find those once in a lifetime relationships!! One where there is no yelling...just talking and discussing....one where there is no hitting....just gentle touches showing care, hugs, and kisses...what a change for me! Someone who genuinely worries about you and cares what happens to you...and does everything they know to help assure you don't get hurt! And if you get hurt...cares enough to assure you it will be ok....someone who disscusses your worries and is there to support you...these things are all so new to me....I have never had anyone that truly wanted to be a part of my life on every level. Sometimes it is like a dream for me...altho he may not realize it...this is a brand new world for me to explore!
It is hard for a person whose never lived in fear to understand what life without fear means! I hope in the near future that I can close the last chapter of my life (the chapter of the last 8 yrs) and openly start the chapter on my future. I enjoy living without fear and regrets and look forward to my future...not making the same mistakes as before.
I look forward to learning new things, enjoying the outdoors, and just being me for the first time in years! I had thought I lost myself and worried I may never find that child like happiness I once had...but fear not I have found it and myself again! I am so excited about my birthday ( hehe most of you know how that goes) even tho it is 6 months away :) And we know that Christmas is after that YAY!!!!
I have also seen a change in my personality. I no longer feel the need to be defensive all the time. I have gotten so used to always having to fight against the current of life that sailing swiftly with the current is quite pleasing! I don't remember the last time I was defensive or arrogant with anyone...it used to be a daily occurance...I DON'T miss it at all!!! I LOVE being pleasant, funny, charming, silly, and fun this is who I truly am in my heart and in my soul! All the other things that came out in me I truly believe were a product of my enviroment! Of course we do have days when we butt heads with people that is natural and everyone experiences it, but letting it happen and moving forward is the key...sometimes I struggle with that and carry emotions away, but not nearly as frequently or vehemently as before....if and when I do I apolgize to those affected.
So there you have it guys another insight into me. I am a complex creature sometimes altho I try very hard not to be. My goal is to be simple and fun! If I fail it isn't for lack of trying. I hope that there can be someone in the world that loves and cares for me....just by me being me...isn't that everyones goal...someone who can love and respect me even with my flaws ( I am strong enough to know I have many) and imperfections!
I cherish the relationship I am in now and work everyday to realize this is how things should be :) I pray we can make it work so that we are both as happy in the future as we are now! I look forward to everytime Phil and I are together :) I also look forward to sharing him with all of you...but just a little bit hehe!
Hope everyone is having a great day! May God Bless you and keep you safe!
Hugs
Stacy
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Why must I think! Current mood: blah
I am back :) I am still doing well here in PA, but man sometimes I hate my brain! Work has been insane Inventory is a disaster...upgraded from yesterday's MESS! I have been so frustrated the last 2 days. I am seeing some light tho so don't worry about me! So now on to the title of the blog....
I am a thinker and yes anyone who knows me knows this can be true. Most of the time I am spontaneous and go with the flow, BUT sometimes my brain takes over...not usually a good thing for my mood, my life, or my friends. Yesterday I used my brain WAY WAY WAY too much. I was comtemplating everything. My divorce, my life, my mood....EVERYTHING! So those who know me know...this lead to large amounts of tears. I cried yes, but felt better in the end. I am glad that is past me! Good God I HATE to cry! It is such a sign of weakness to me and even tho I have discussed this in therapy a BAZILLION times that it is natural and not a weakness I can't help but feel like the stupid female who is weak and helpless when it happens to me. So anyway the tears have passed I have finished my thinking and come out feeling ok. I know that stress often is what leads me to this state...and I had a lot of that yesterday. To those reading this....I am fine please don't worry about me....it's just me LOL! I am feeling 100% better today. I did determine tho that I have a lot of life changes going on in my life and perhaps I needed a day to contemplate what I have been putting off in a tactic of avoidance....knowing this day would lead to tears I didn't want to cry.
I haven't updated you guys in a while. So Scott signed the separation agreement WAY YAY!! So I am officially single...well not really single just done with Scott LOL! I am dating the most wonderful guy in the world...Phil, who some of you know, for those of you who don't know him....don't worry you will :) July 8th the divorce will be final and I am so anxious for that day! Of course 3 months from when I filed is July 4th Independence day...moreso than EVER! My name is officially Stacy Lorraine Roberts again another BIG YAY! Thursday I will get my drivers license changed :)
Thursday I also go to Scranton for a Dr appt with the Dr who performed the baby procedure a yr and a half ago. This appt has been on my mind for a long time. I am glad I am going for sure and I am very anxious to learn whether or not I can have children safely. Most of you know I have always wanted children...just not with the situation I was in before...so this is an important answer in my life. Another reason perhaps I was crying yesterday?!...
I remodelled the apt a couple weeks ago that was AWESOME! I changed the bedroom so it isn't the same room as before. It is where the office used to be! I painted the walls the color name is Giggle hehe! so me I know! Last night I put up some mullions and flowers in there also. It looks so girly..not me at all :) But I LOVE it! I never sleep in there tho that is the funny part. If I am home it is couch city for me....I just fall asleep watching TV and plus the fact that...that was my bedroom for 2 yrs! So after I washed dishes last night, hung the mullions and flowers, had dinner with mom and dad, and took a shower..all before 730 PM I layed on the couch watching TV and was asleep before 8 PM HAHA funny....that is a day in my life for sure...defintely most of you won't even find that strange! I even woke up at 5:15 AM on the dot without an alarm clock :) now that is shocking!
So I think that is the update from here! I am sorry it is not the usual cheerful life is grand post, BUT sometimes life for me just isn't fun or cheerful :) So my thoughts for today are this...Sometimes it is better to follow your heart instead of over-thinking life's challenges! Sometimes we just need a day to reflect and make sure we are where we want to be even if it causes some tears and questions :) I hope you are all doing well out there!
Love and Hugs
Stacy
Why must I think! Current mood: blah
I am back :) I am still doing well here in PA, but man sometimes I hate my brain! Work has been insane Inventory is a disaster...upgraded from yesterday's MESS! I have been so frustrated the last 2 days. I am seeing some light tho so don't worry about me! So now on to the title of the blog....
I am a thinker and yes anyone who knows me knows this can be true. Most of the time I am spontaneous and go with the flow, BUT sometimes my brain takes over...not usually a good thing for my mood, my life, or my friends. Yesterday I used my brain WAY WAY WAY too much. I was comtemplating everything. My divorce, my life, my mood....EVERYTHING! So those who know me know...this lead to large amounts of tears. I cried yes, but felt better in the end. I am glad that is past me! Good God I HATE to cry! It is such a sign of weakness to me and even tho I have discussed this in therapy a BAZILLION times that it is natural and not a weakness I can't help but feel like the stupid female who is weak and helpless when it happens to me. So anyway the tears have passed I have finished my thinking and come out feeling ok. I know that stress often is what leads me to this state...and I had a lot of that yesterday. To those reading this....I am fine please don't worry about me....it's just me LOL! I am feeling 100% better today. I did determine tho that I have a lot of life changes going on in my life and perhaps I needed a day to contemplate what I have been putting off in a tactic of avoidance....knowing this day would lead to tears I didn't want to cry.
I haven't updated you guys in a while. So Scott signed the separation agreement WAY YAY!! So I am officially single...well not really single just done with Scott LOL! I am dating the most wonderful guy in the world...Phil, who some of you know, for those of you who don't know him....don't worry you will :) July 8th the divorce will be final and I am so anxious for that day! Of course 3 months from when I filed is July 4th Independence day...moreso than EVER! My name is officially Stacy Lorraine Roberts again another BIG YAY! Thursday I will get my drivers license changed :)
Thursday I also go to Scranton for a Dr appt with the Dr who performed the baby procedure a yr and a half ago. This appt has been on my mind for a long time. I am glad I am going for sure and I am very anxious to learn whether or not I can have children safely. Most of you know I have always wanted children...just not with the situation I was in before...so this is an important answer in my life. Another reason perhaps I was crying yesterday?!...
I remodelled the apt a couple weeks ago that was AWESOME! I changed the bedroom so it isn't the same room as before. It is where the office used to be! I painted the walls the color name is Giggle hehe! so me I know! Last night I put up some mullions and flowers in there also. It looks so girly..not me at all :) But I LOVE it! I never sleep in there tho that is the funny part. If I am home it is couch city for me....I just fall asleep watching TV and plus the fact that...that was my bedroom for 2 yrs! So after I washed dishes last night, hung the mullions and flowers, had dinner with mom and dad, and took a shower..all before 730 PM I layed on the couch watching TV and was asleep before 8 PM HAHA funny....that is a day in my life for sure...defintely most of you won't even find that strange! I even woke up at 5:15 AM on the dot without an alarm clock :) now that is shocking!
So I think that is the update from here! I am sorry it is not the usual cheerful life is grand post, BUT sometimes life for me just isn't fun or cheerful :) So my thoughts for today are this...Sometimes it is better to follow your heart instead of over-thinking life's challenges! Sometimes we just need a day to reflect and make sure we are where we want to be even if it causes some tears and questions :) I hope you are all doing well out there!
Love and Hugs
Stacy
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